Living With Animals: My Pets’ New Year’s Resolutions

By Hope Bidegainberry on December 29, 2017

My dog and cats sat me down last night to discuss their own New Year’s Resolutions. Due to that whole lack of thumbs thing, they asked me to write these down on their behalf. As you’ll see, they decided to make their resolutions conditional on my own, meaning they’re only on the hook if I stick to my promises. Clever and frankly I’m not sure it’s entirely fair but, hey, I’m only the typist.

Frida, our aging sweetheart (and she knows it!) of a beagle-mix makes the following resolution: “If Ken lives up to his resolution and gives up all cookies, candy, cake, carbohydrates, snacks he buys from the machine which pop out all wrapped up in bright and shiny packages designed to make him think he’s gotten another Christmas gift instead of an unhealthy hunk of chemicals and sugar, then I – his devoted and loving dog Frida – will in turn give up expecting my fair share of whatever is on his plate.” To be clear, what Frida calls “expecting my fair share” is in fact shameless, undignified but usually successful begging, but you get the point. Meanwhile, the cats (uncharacteristically working together on this) resolve as follows: “If Ken lives up to his resolution to start exercising 30 minutes every day without fail then we, his cats Stinky Louise and Isabelle, in recognition of the rest he will have earned by such arduous exercise will in turn stop racing through the bedroom, hopping up on the bed, and acking-up hairballs next to his head between midnight and 4AM.” Darn these animals, they drive a hard bargain. But since I know I can 100% live up to my own resolutions I can only hope they will too.

Meanwhile, here’s one extra New Year’s Resolution I offer, one I honestly do know I can and will keep; perhaps you might consider something similar on your own. I resolve to never take for granted the love my animals offer (even if it does come with a few strings). We all deserve that.

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