My Love/Hate Relationship With Photography

By 965koit on June 20, 2019

After hanging out with me for a while people start to figure out that I can be a bit….obsessive. When I do something or love something I jump in with both feet and it’s all I can talk about for a couple months. Then I’ll find something else I like and do it all over again. For instance, I couldn’t just enjoy watching the Star Wars movies and have it end there, I had to dive in. So I bought every novel that has been released over the last 30 years and started to read the history of the Jedi in chronological order. I made a checklist and read them all in order so that I could fully understand how we got to Luke Skywalker gazing at the setting suns of Tatooine. Obsessed.

There is something that I have always enjoyed doing since I was a kid. Taking pictures. I wouldn’t say that I’m “bad” at it but I’m definitely not on the level of professional photographers. I’ve never really had the money for a good camera until about 2 years ago. From the moment I opened that box I’ve been fighting my urges to become obsessed with photography. Pretty much everything I enjoy in life has turned into a job in one way or another:

– Like talking to people and being goofy? Became a radio host.

– Love music? Became a wedding DJ

– Shooting and Editing videos? Started a Youtube channel.

Do you see where I’m going with this?

When I got my camera I told myself that I wanted photography to be JUST for fun. It took a bit of convincing and it’s still a conversation I have to have with myself once a month but it’s still something I only do for fun. The goal is to have something I just enjoy doing without the added stress of being good enough for others approval. If I start taking pictures for money then I HAVE to be good at it or the client will be unhappy and I’ll lose money. Honestly, I can’t tell if it’s more stressful to keep it “just fun” or if it would be easier to give in and see what I could do if I got obsessed. Wouldn’t making money doing something I like make it even more fun?

Don’t get me wrong, I have definitely been watching constant videos and studying new gear and lens and trying to get better and better. The line comes when I think about trying to make money. What would it hurt to see if anyone needs new headshots? Why couldn’t I just call my wedding photographer friends and ask to shadow them a bit? “Bad Nick! Stop it!”

I think it’s important that you have something in your life that you love doing that doesn’t cause you stress. Photography is something I will always struggle to just have fun with but I am determined to keep it that way. So, just for fun, here are some pics I took recently that I really enjoy looking at. I’ll try not to obsess over if you think they are good or not.

Also….does anyone need new headshots?