Top Things to Consider Before Adopting a Dog
By Hope Bidegainberry on October 7, 2019
Are you thinking about adopting a dog? If so, we think you should first take a minute to review this list of the top things to consider before adopting a dog.
- If it gets annoying, can I leave it in a park like I did with my kid’s cat, gerbil, rabbit, miniature horse, and goldfish?
- Can I also find a lasagna-loving cat to delightfully torment the dog?
- I’m a single guy, so wouldn’t I get more joy from adopting a Spearmint Rhino dancer?
- Am I doing this just to have a fall guy for my flatulence issues?
- Will it engage in hilarious antics, like Marmaduke?
- Will it know to protect my home from obvious threats like thieves, burglars, and Jehovah’s Witnesses?
- Can I train it not to go nuts on the TV when Drew Carey does his “snip your dog’s nads” reminder?
- Will I be able to tolerate the overwhelming odor of weed being constantly smoked? Sorry, that’s something to consider before adopting Snoop Dogg.
- Do I need to get one of those stupid “Who Rescued Who?” bumper stickers?
- Will I remember to keep it exercised? (Hint: Look at yourself. Of course not!)
- Is it too dangerous to let the dog wear the spiked-collar my dominatrix uses on me?
- Once it’s no longer an adorable puppy, can I trade it in for another adorable puppy to help me get laid?
- Will there be a lot of judgment if I call it my life partner?
- Does the dog have all his shots . . . or was it owned by anti-vaxxers?
- Will I be supportive if the dog ever asks to meet its real parents?
- Should I take baby steps and adopt a highway first?
