My quest for the perfect slice!

By 965koit on October 2, 2019
“Authentic Italian, Hand Made Ham and Pineapple Pizza with Fresh Mozzarella – Photographed on a Hasselblad H3D11-39 megapixel Camera System”

There are many things that I enjoyed as a kid that have come with me into adulthood. My love for pizza is not one of them. There is no good pizza any more! Where is the slice of pizza that hits my tongue and makes my taste buds dance? When I was younger EVERY pizza was good pizza, but now that I’m older every pizza is meh pizza. It’s been years since I’ve been happy with a slice of pizza. I’ve had pizza in ITALY and it was still disappointing.

First, let me describe the perfect slice of pizza.

  1. The slice is at least as long as my forearm.
  2. It’s covered in 3 or more cheeses, to the point that you almost wonder “is this too much cheese?” but it isn’t.
  3. Pineapple. I don’t care what you think, pineapple absolutely belongs on pizza and I’m not ashamed to love it.
  4. Crispy mini pancake sized slices of Canadian bacon
  5. A not thin, but not thick size crust. Not crunchy but crisp.
close up hawaiian pizza rustic table background

This is the slice of my dreams, and it appears as though my dream will never come true. I’ve searched high and low for the perfect slice of pizza but it doesn’t exist. Every place I visit seems to be worse than the next. It’s either to thin, not enough cheese, weird toppings no one wants or it’s deep dish.

They say that even bad pizza is still pizza but that’s a lie. Maybe when you’re 12, but my taste buds are mature and civilized now. They have tasted amazing things in their life time. They deserve only perfection. There is not enough time left in their lives to waste on mediocre pizza. Especially since every slice of pizza gives me the worst heartburn imaginable. It has to be worth the pain!

Kristen is 100% done with me when it comes to pizza. We go to a new place and she gives her approval away like it was extra change at a gas station, but I’m not so easy. She refers to me as a pizza snob and maybe I am. I know what I want and if that makes me a “snob” then you can call me Captain Snobby.

I won’t rest until the perfect pizza has been found!


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